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THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME

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  • THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME

    1: My mother taught me about WEATHER.
    "Your room looks like a hurricane went through it."

    2: My mother taught me about RELIGION.
    "You'd better pray that stain comes out of the carpet."

    3: My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
    "If you don't behave I'll knock you into the middle of next week."

    4: My mother taught me about OSMOSIS.
    "Shut your mouth and eat your dinner."

    5: My mother taught me about ENVY.
    "There are millions of children in the world who don't have parents like you."

    6: My mother taught me about GENEALOGY.
    "Shut that door. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

    7: My mother taught me about GIVING..
    "I'll give you something to whine about in a minute."

    12: My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
    "You're going to get it when we get home."

    8: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
    "One day you'll have children. I hope they turn out just like you."

    9: My mother taught me about LOGIC.
    "Because I said so, that's why."

    10: My mother taught me about STAMINA.
    "You'll sit right there until your Brussels Sprouts are finished."

    11: My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
    "Just you wait until you're father gets home."

    12: My mother taught me about HUMAN ANATOMY.
    "A shilling? Do you think I'm made of money?"


    (Seriously - Mum and Dad were the best.)
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