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THE CREATION IN DOS MODE

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  • THE CREATION IN DOS MODE

    CREATION IN DOS MODE


    This is what might have happened if God had used a computer for the Creation...


    CREATION.EXE

    In the beginning was the computer. And God said:

    c:\>Let there be light!

    Enter user id.

    c:\>God

    Enter password.

    c:\>Omniscient

    Password incorrect. Please try again.

    c:\>Omnipotent

    Password incorrect. Please try again.

    c:\>Technocrat

    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.

    c:\>Let there be light!

    Unrecognizable command. Please try again.

    c:\>Create light

    Done

    c:\>Run Heaven and Earth

    And God created Day and Night.And God saw there were 0 errors.

    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.


    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.

    c:\>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light

    Unrecognizable command. Please try again.

    c:\>Create firmament

    Done.

    c:\>Run firmament

    And God created the firmament; and God saw that there were 0 errors.

    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.


    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.

    c:\>Let the waters under Heaven be gathered unto one place
    and let the dry land appear and

    Too many characters in specification string. Please try again.

    c:\>Create dry_land

    Done.

    c:\>Run firmament

    And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.

    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.


    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.

    c:\>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night

    Unspecified type. Please try again.

    c:\>Create sun_moon_stars

    Done

    c:\>Run sun_moon_stars

    And God divided the day from the night. And God saw that there were 0 errors.

    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.


    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.

    c:\>Create fish

    Done

    c:\>Create fowl

    Done

    c:\>Run fish, fowl

    And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature
    that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every
    winged fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.

    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.


    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.

    c:\>Create cattle

    Done

    c:\>Create creepy_things

    Done

    c:\>Now let us make man in our image

    Unspecified type. Please try again.

    c:\>Create man

    Done

    c:\>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and
    have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and
    over every living thing that creepeth upon the Earth

    Too many command operands. Please try again.

    c:\>Run multiplication

    Execution terminated. 6 errors.

    c:\>Insert breath

    Done

    c:\>Run multiplication

    Execution terminated. 5 errors.

    c:\>Move man to Garden of Eden

    File Garden of Eden does not exist.

    c:\>Create Gardn.edn

    Done

    c:\>Move man to Gardn.edn

    Done

    c:\>Run multiplication

    Execution terminated. 4 errors.

    c:\>Copy woman from man

    Done

    c:\>Run multiplication

    Execution terminated. 2 errors.

    c:\>Create desire

    Done

    c:\>Run multiplication

    And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Gardn.edn...

    Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

    c:\>Create freewill

    Done

    c:\>Run freewill

    And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Gardn.edn...

    Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

    c:\>Undo desire

    Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.

    c:\>Delete freewill

    Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be deleted.

    Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

    c:\>Help

    Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.

    Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be deleted.

    Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

    c:\>Create tree_of_knowledge

    And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
    Gardn.edn...

    Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

    c:\>Create good, evil

    Preparing to install Satan.exe.
    Warning: This type of file may harm your computer.
    Do you wish to proceed?

    c:\> OK

    Done

    c:\>Activate evil

    And God saw he had created shame.

    Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in Gardn.edn. 1
    errors.

    c:\>Scan Gardn.edn for man, woman

    Search failed.

    c:\>Delete shame

    Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.

    c:\>Delete freewill

    Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be deleted

    Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

    c:\>Stop

    Unrecognizable command. Please try again

    c:\>Break

    c:\>Break

    c:\>Break

    ATTENTION ALL USERS:*** COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR
    REGULAR COMPULSORY DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.

    c:\>Create new world

    You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must delete old files
    before new ones can be created.

    c:\>Delete Earth

    Delete Earth: please confirm

    c:\>OK

    Done

    COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN FOR COMPULSORY DAY OF REST,
    SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT
    6:00 AM. YOU MUST LOG OFF NOW.

    And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6....
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