Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

You think English is easy?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • You think English is easy?

    :wink:

    You think English is easy?


    I don't think I have posted this before ...........so here goes.........

    ************************************************

    No wonder kids fail in English





    THIS IS GREAT!!! Read all the way to the end... This took someone a lot of work to put together!!!



    You think English is easy?

    1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

    2) The farm was used to produce produce .

    3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

    4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

    5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

    6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.




    7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was

    time to present the present .

    8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

    9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

    10) I did not object to the object.

    11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

    12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .

    13) They were too close to the door to close it.

    14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

    15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.


    16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow..

    17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

    18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

    19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

    20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

    ************************

    THIS IS GREAT!!! Read all the way to the end... This took someone a lot of work to put together!!!



    You think English is easy?

    1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

    2) The farm was used to produce produce .

    3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

    4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

    5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

    6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

    7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was

    time to present the present .

    8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

    9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

    10) I did not object to the object.

    11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

    12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .

    13) They were too close to the door to close it.

    14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

    15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

    16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow..

    17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

    18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

    19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

    20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

    Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in

    eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in

    pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or

    French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while

    sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English

    for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that

    quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a

    guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.



    If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a

    vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

    Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be

    committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what

    language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

    Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that

    run and feet that smell?


    How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while

    a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to

    marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your

    house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in

    a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by

    going on.

    English was invented by people, not computers, and it

    reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is

    not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they

    are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

    PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

    You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

    There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings

    than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

    It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the

    sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the

    morning, why do we wake UP ?

    At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ?

    Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for

    election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP

    a report ?


    We call UP our friends.

    And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the

    silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.

    We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

    At other times the little word has real special meaning.

    People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an

    appetite, and think UP excuses.

    To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

    A drain must be opened UP because it is blocked UP.

    We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP

    at night.
    We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !

    To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look

    the word UP in the dictionary.

    In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of

    the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

    If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of

    the many ways UP is used.

    It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give

    UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

    When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP .

    When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP...
    When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
    When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

    One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP,

    for now my time is UP, so........it is time to shut UP!

    Now it's UP to you what you do with this email.
    ************************

    I don't think I'm UP for any more today, so I'll UP sticks, shut UP, clam UP and button UP.

    Gordon :laugh2::laugh2::cool:

  • #2
    Re: You think English is easy?

    This reminded me of a query by a German immigrant friend of mine who often comes to me for advice on how to improve his English. His last question: "What kind of a language have you got here; first you chop a tree down - then you chop it UP?"

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: You think English is easy?

      Other languages have their strange quirks too. At least in English we don't have to learn the gender of the noun. French has masculine & feminine and German has masculine, feminine and neuter.

      Some of the translations don't make sense in other languages, for example, in English we say that someone "doesn't have a look in." In German it's "er is weg vom Fenster" which translates to English as "he is away from the window".. :laugh2:

      Elda

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: You think English is easy?

        Elda,

        My daughter has a German au pair for her children, she has tried explaing some of the differences to me [and vice versa]

        Gordon.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: You think English is easy?

          Hey Gordon, there was a guy from Penguin on Hot Seat the other night. He was a teacher. Do you know him?

          Elda

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: You think English is easy?

            Originally posted by Glesgalass View Post
            Hey Gordon, there was a guy from Penguin on Hot Seat the other night. He was a teacher. Do you know him?

            Elda
            Hi Elda,

            The only quiz shows I see are generally from overseas, e.g., "Eggheads" , "The Chaser"

            I doubt I would know the contestant involved, the only teacher [male] that I know has been retired a number of years.

            I find Eddie [the host ] a real pain.

            Now here is a show that really tests the contestants knowledge.............


            Million Dollar Minute (Australia)

            Comment

            Working...
            X