How to get to Heaven from Scotland ...

... I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday
School class to see if they understood the
Concept of getting into heaven.


I asked them, "If I sold my house and my
car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my
money to the church, would that get me
into heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed
the garden and kept everything tidy, would
that get me into heaven?"

Again, the answer was 'No!'


By now I was starting to smile.

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and
gave sweeties to all the children, and
loved my husband, would that get me
into heaven?"

Again, they all answered 'No!'


I was just bursting with pride for them.
I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"

A six year old boy shouted, "Yuv got tae be fukin' dead"
Kinda brings a wee tear tae your eye..