CREATION IN DOS MODE


This is what might have happened if God had used a computer for the Creation...


CREATION.EXE

In the beginning was the computer. And God said:

c:\>Let there be light!

Enter user id.

c:\>God

Enter password.

c:\>Omniscient

Password incorrect. Please try again.

c:\>Omnipotent

Password incorrect. Please try again.

c:\>Technocrat

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.

c:\>Let there be light!

Unrecognizable command. Please try again.

c:\>Create light

Done

c:\>Run Heaven and Earth

And God created Day and Night.And God saw there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.


And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.

c:\>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light

Unrecognizable command. Please try again.

c:\>Create firmament

Done.

c:\>Run firmament

And God created the firmament; and God saw that there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.


And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.

c:\>Let the waters under Heaven be gathered unto one place
and let the dry land appear and

Too many characters in specification string. Please try again.

c:\>Create dry_land

Done.

c:\>Run firmament

And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.


And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.

c:\>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night

Unspecified type. Please try again.

c:\>Create sun_moon_stars

Done

c:\>Run sun_moon_stars

And God divided the day from the night. And God saw that there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.


And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.

c:\>Create fish

Done

c:\>Create fowl

Done

c:\>Run fish, fowl

And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature
that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every
winged fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.


And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.

c:\>Create cattle

Done

c:\>Create creepy_things

Done

c:\>Now let us make man in our image

Unspecified type. Please try again.

c:\>Create man

Done

c:\>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and
have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and
over every living thing that creepeth upon the Earth

Too many command operands. Please try again.

c:\>Run multiplication

Execution terminated. 6 errors.

c:\>Insert breath

Done

c:\>Run multiplication

Execution terminated. 5 errors.

c:\>Move man to Garden of Eden

File Garden of Eden does not exist.

c:\>Create Gardn.edn

Done

c:\>Move man to Gardn.edn

Done

c:\>Run multiplication

Execution terminated. 4 errors.

c:\>Copy woman from man

Done

c:\>Run multiplication

Execution terminated. 2 errors.

c:\>Create desire

Done

c:\>Run multiplication

And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Gardn.edn...

Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

c:\>Create freewill

Done

c:\>Run freewill

And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Gardn.edn...

Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

c:\>Undo desire

Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.

c:\>Delete freewill

Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be deleted.

Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

c:\>Help

Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.

Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be deleted.

Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

c:\>Create tree_of_knowledge

And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
Gardn.edn...

Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

c:\>Create good, evil

Preparing to install Satan.exe.
Warning: This type of file may harm your computer.
Do you wish to proceed?

c:\> OK

Done

c:\>Activate evil

And God saw he had created shame.

Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in Gardn.edn. 1
errors.

c:\>Scan Gardn.edn for man, woman

Search failed.

c:\>Delete shame

Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.

c:\>Delete freewill

Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be deleted

Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

c:\>Stop

Unrecognizable command. Please try again

c:\>Break

c:\>Break

c:\>Break

ATTENTION ALL USERS:*** COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR
REGULAR COMPULSORY DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.

c:\>Create new world

You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must delete old files
before new ones can be created.

c:\>Delete Earth

Delete Earth: please confirm

c:\>OK

Done

COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN FOR COMPULSORY DAY OF REST,
SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT
6:00 AM. YOU MUST LOG OFF NOW.

And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6....